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Taking a nap in Golden Gate Park on Independence Day. While Dolores Park seems to get all the attention, Golden Gate Park is a world class park with museums, playgrounds, lakes, and activities for everyone. It's bigger than New York's Central Park, and has way more homeless people and teenage runaways. Photo shot by Hoodscope photographer Macky.

This Palm Tree Has a Penis

This Palm Tree Has a Penis

And that’s pretty much all there is to it.

As seen from the Brannan St. MUNI platform on the Embarcadero.

This Palm Tree Has a Penis

Pandamonium In Union Square!

Pandamoniun In Union Square!

Pandamoniun In Union Square!

There’s pandamonium going on by Union Square, but there’s no need to be alarmed because…

It's cool, I'm just a panda

As seen on Geary off Union Square.

You Are All Sheep

You Are All Sheep

As seen on the sidewalk at 2nd and Townsend in South Beach.

Someone out there thinks you’re all sheep working your 9-5 jobs, making a good salary, earning health benefits, and generally being a contributing member to society. His advice? Quit!

Which makes me think- do you work 8 hours a day simply because you are expected to? If you were suddenly forced to work a 4 hour day, you’d magically get the same amount of work done in half the time because of the sense of urgency and time constraint. If you were expected to work a 12 hour day, you would probably just fill that time with mindless time consuming tasks and still get the same amount of work done. Am I right or am I right?

Work smart, not hard! :)

C.R.E.A.M. x El Farolito

C.R.E.A.M. x El Farolito

I’m sure Wu-Tang would enjoy a shrimp quesadilla super suiza from El Farolito. Who doesn’t!?

Story: Once upon a time a buddy and I went to El Farolito after work (our excuse was, “We missed our train, let’s go to El Farolito instead of waiting!”) and ordered two carne asada quesadilla super suizas, two horchatas and a basket of chips. When the total rang up, we presented plastic and the guy at the register said, “Cash only.” We didn’t have enough cash between the both of us and hung our heads and let our hearts sink into our guts. The wonderful, magical man behind the counter saw our expressions and said, “It’s cool, just pay me back next time.” We thanked him a million times and that was one of the best meals I’ve ever had at El Farolito. The next time I went there, I paid the  (different) guy extra money and explained my story. He didn’t get it, but took the extra money anyway.

Sam’s Chowdermobile – Good Clam Chowder, Amazing Lobster Roll

Sam's Chowdermobile Lobster Roll

Just stare at that for a while. Read on when you’re ready.

Sam’s Chowdermobile made its debut in San Francisco this 4th of July weekend in Golden Gate Park. Sam’s Chowder House is a seafood restaurant in Half Moon Bay that has received rave reviews for its simple seafood menu featuring fresh & local organic ingredients. They decided to take their seafood mobile, and the Chowdermobile was born. The Chowdermobile food truck is usually around San Mateo county, but the good folks decided to make the trip a bit north.

Sam's Chowdermobile

Sam’s Chowdermobile parked itself in Golden Gate Park in front of the Japanese Tea Garden (as seen in the background) and nearby the de Young Museum and the California Academy of Sciences, so there were lots of tourists (and locals!) nearby waiting to try the famed lobster roll.

Sam's Chowdermobile Clam Chowder

The clam chowder ($5) lives up to the truck’s namesake. The New England style clam chowder is made with little neck clams, Yukon gold potatoes, smoked bacon, and cream. The broth is light and flavorful with lots of clams. It would be nice if they offered it in a San Francisco sourdough breadbowl, though!

Sam's Chowdermobile Calamari

The calamari ($7) is a nice big order that gives you bang for your buck.  It’s pretty standard, which means pretty good! I like the ratio of tentacles to rings (I prefer the tentacles and hate it when I order calamari and it’s all rings). The calamari is hand battered and fried to order, served with tartar sauce and cocktail sauce.

Check out more amazing food after the jump!

Continue reading Sam’s Chowdermobile – Good Clam Chowder, Amazing Lobster Roll

Beware of Rapist Near Castro MUNI Station

Shannon Brooks, Rapist

Some anonymous citizen took it upon themselves to warn the Castro of a “hot and dirty rapist” parading around town by the name of Shannon Brooks. I don’t know whether to be terrified or turned on if I ever meet this presumably hot and dirty girl.

As seen on a MetroPCS ad in the Castro MUNI station.

BEAT L.A.

LA SUCKS

LA SUCKS

Every single person that I saw walk past this sign smiled and nodded to themselves.

As seen in front of Nova Bar and Restaurant in SoMa.

Nova Bar and Restaurant
555 2nd St.
San Francisco, CA 94107
(415) 543-2282
www.novabar.com

How To Ask Me For San Francisco Restaurant Recommendations

Helping friends discover San Fracisco, one text at a time

One of the perks of being a San Francisco blogger is that others view me as an “expert” or their “go-to guy” for all things San Francisco, and I’m sure other bloggers would agree. I love sharing my knowledge of the city for those that genuinely want a good experience, and that’s pretty much the reason I started this blog. San Francisco is full of so many unique things to do, eat, see, hear, and experience, and that’s sort of the problem. There’s so many choices!

Most people ask me with good intentions, hoping to receive a good restaurant or bar recommendation, but what many people don’t seem to realize is that there is a shitload of restaurants and bars in San Francisco. Here’s a common conversation I have:

Friend: Hey what’s a good restaurant?
Me: What are you looking for?
Friend:  Doesn’t matter. Anything good.
Me: *facepalm*

I could send you to Fleur de Lys or Gary Danko, since those places are good. They’ll also cost you half your paycheck. Or I could send you to Saigon Sandwich in the Tenderloin for a $3 banh mi and a run in with a crackhead. See what I mean?

In an effort to continue providing a good service to friends who ask, I’d like to lay down a few ground rules!

The Rules

  1. Tell me what your budget is.
  2. Tell me what types of cuisine you’re in the mood for.
  3. Tell me what type of ambiance and crowd you’re looking for.
  4. Tell me when you’re going, if it’s not right this second.
  5. Tell me who you’re going with, i.e.- on a date, alone, with a group.
  6. Tell me what your neighborhood preferences are. “Anywhere but the Marina” is acceptable.
  7. Tell me any other details that you think would help.

Though these rules are applied to San Francisco restaurant recommendations, they can easily be applied to any other type, such as things to do or places to go. I don’t need every single piece of info. The key point to understand is that I need some sort of preference! The next time someone asks me for “a good restaurant,” I’m sending them to some expensive, gaudy tourist trap at Pier 39. Rainforest Cafe, anyone?

Hapa Ramen: Old School Dish With New School Treatment

Richie Nakano's Hapa Ramen

It seems like there’s always a new bowl of ramen to try, but none has received the amount of hype and press that Richie Nakano (aka @linecook) has received for his bowl of noodles and broth. Formerly a cook at Nopa, Richie struck out on his own to start Hapa Ramen, a pseudo pop up ramen shop you can find at the Ferry Building Farmers Market. Richie pairs locally sourced, organic ingredients with modern cooking techniques to present a new twist on the classic dish.

The menu is nice and simple, focusing on the ingredients instead of offering endless options that only give customers ordering anxiety. However, you do have some choices when it comes to building your perfect bowl of ramen.

The Hapa Ramen Menu

Richie Nakano's Hapa Ramen Menu

I ordered the Basic Bowl with slow cooked pork and added fried chicken and a sous vide (slow cooked) egg. The pork bone broth is fairly mild, an even balance between a rich pork stock and a light dashi stock. I prefer a more rich and fatty broth, but it was still very good. The fried chicken was juicy, and it also held its crispness pretty well despite being in broth. The slow cooked egg was amazing! The runny egg added some nice flavor to the textured hand-made noodles. Just when I thought it couldn’t get much better than the egg, I tried the slow cooked pork. Wow. Thick slices of fatty, salty, tender pork that seriously melt in your mouth. I’d go so far as to say it’s the best pork I’ve had in ramen. Granted, I’m no ramen connoisseur, but I know what I like and what I don’t like, and Richie’s pork is my favorite.

I really wanted to try the braised kale, so next time I’m going balls to the wall and ordering a veggie bowl with pork and chicken and a sous vide egg and more pork and another sous vide egg.

Hapa Ramen
www.haparamensf.com
www.twitter.com/haparamen
www.twitter.com/linecook

Clever Vandalism or Gay Viral Marketing?

Grown Ups Movie Poster

Cock Tunnel: For Grown Ups Only! Has a nice ring to it. In fact, I bet this movie would do better at the box office if that was the real title.

The official movie tagline? “Boys will be boys…some longer than others.” LOL

As seen on 16th and Mission.

This Is Not a Meth Pipe

This is not a meth pipe

Whoever said “money can’t buy happiness” must have been a recovering meth head.

As seen on Market & Castro.

Into Hip Hop? Download KENO – Sleeping Giant for Free

Keno - Sleeping Giant

My boy KENO just dropped his solo EP, Sleeping Giant. If you’re into good, classic sounding hip hop with dope beats (and none of that autotune shit) give his album a listen! You can download the EP for FREE here: http://www.divshare.com/download/11705951-e71

Did I mention it’s FREE?

He’s put a lot of work in this project over the last few months, working with lots of producers and emcees. As KENO himself says, “It may not be for everyone but theres at least one song for each individual I can promise that.”

If you still need more convincing, listen to the lead track on the album, entitled “Sleeping Giant.”

An intellectual, extraterrestrial
In sessions, I will X men like a Sentinel

Are you serious!?

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What are you waiting for? Support local music!

Super Duper Burger Tells You How Good Their Burgers Are

If you have trouble describing the burger you just ate at Super Duper Burger in the Castro, all you have to do is take a piss in their bathroom. Unfortunately, my reflection won’t be seen while you’re in the bathroom. Although that can be arranged.

If you haven’t been to Super Duper Burger yet, I’d suggest checking it out if you’re near the Castro. In my Super Duper Burger review, I said I liked it and it is on par with New York’s Shake Shack but doesn’t stack up to my beloved In-N-Out.

Also check out:
Super Duper Burger in the Castro
Bagdad Cafe in the Castro
Gelateria Naia in the Castro; All Natural Gelato
Hot Cookie in the Castro
Hoodscope’s Guide to Enjoying Sangria In San Francisco

Parada 22 in the Haight: Accessible Puerto Rican Food

Parada 22 SF Haight

Old San Juan Puerto Rico may not elicit images of pot smoking hippies and teenage runaways, but on one block in the Haight you can find yourself transported to the Caribbean. Located right next door to the ever popular Cha Cha Cha you’ll find Parada 22, the latest venture from serial restaurateur Alex Jackson (The Corner, Weird Fish, Black Sheep). He paired up with one of Cha Cha Cha’s guys and a Puerto Rican food consultant to help him craft his nuevo-Boricua (as I called it) menu.

Named after a street in San Juan, Puerto Rico, Parada 22 presents a simple menu that features some classic Puerto Rican dishes (while ignoring others). When you first walk in you’ll immediately find your eyes scanning the bright green walls adorned with photos of the old country and a giant glass pantry displaying various spices and canned goods. A few high tables and benches round out the small, bright space. It’s not meant to be a sit down restaurant, more of a grab and go or pop in and eat type of joint.

Parada 22 SF Haight

Parada 22 SF Haight

Parada 22 SF Haight

The menu is broken down into four main categories- rice plates, sandwiches, salads, and sides (including a couple desserts). The rice plates range from $8-13, with choices such as Pernil Asado (roasted leg of pork, $9.50), Biftec Encebollado (sauteed steak, $10.50), Camarones a la Criolla (sauteed shrimp, $11.50), Pollo Encebollado (sauteed chicken thighs, $9.50), and Trucha Frita (whole fried trout, $13). Each dish comes with rice, mixed greens, maduros (plantains), and your choice of red or white beans.

We liked the sauteed Pollo Encebollado, which was juicy and covered in sweet caramelized onions.

Parada 22 SF Haight

Parada 22 SF Haight

The sandwich selection includes Biftec ($9), Berenjena (grilled marinated eggplant $8), Pollo, and the Classic Cubano ($9). All sandwiches are served on a French baguette with mixed greens and tomato. The salads are less adventurous, consisting of simple mixed greens with your choice of meat and dressings.

We went with the Classic Cubano, a traditional Cuban pressed sandwich made with roasted pork, sweet ham, pickles, mustard, and Swiss cheese. I found it to be a bit dry, with not enough pork fat and gooey cheese keeping it all together. The ingredients used were good, but it felt like a collection of ingredients rather than one cohesive sandwich. Better Cuban sandwiches can be had elsewhere.

Parada 22 SF Haight

The Cha Cha Cha connection is immediately noticeable when you have their sangria, because it is Cha Cha Cha’s sangria from next door. They also have a unique beer selection crafted by the crew over at The Monk’s Kettle.

Parada 22 isn’t perfect, and if you’re looking for authentic Puerto Rican food, you may be left a bit disappointed. The dishes draw influence from classic Puerto Rican dishes, but they are cleaned up a bit to appeal to a wider palate (which probably doesn’t include pot smoking hippies and teenage runaways-they’re easier to please).

Parada 22
1805 Haight Street
San Francisco, CA 94117
(415) 750-1111
www.parada22.com

Also check out:
Cha Cha Cha Tapas Restaurant and Bar in the Haight and Mission
Kezar Pub & Restaurant in the Haight
Place Pigalle Bar in Hayes Valley
Super Duper Burger in the Castro
Playground Restaurant, Bar, and Karaoke in Japantown
Red Crawfish – Where the Far East Meets the Deep South
The Front Porch in the Mission

Spotted: The Only Case of Grilled Cheese Ambivalence in San Francisco

SF Weekly's SFoodie

The American SF Grilled Cheese Kitchen

A rooster would eat it, a zebra would eat it, but a rooster-zebra can’t make up its mind. Must be a side effect of crossbreeding.

Painting by Matt Forderer: “Rooster Zebra Contemplating Grilled-Cheese Sandwich,” as seen at The American Grilled Cheese Kitchen in South Park.

Spotted this random and disturbing photo at The American Grilled Cheese Kitchen. Original post on SFoodie.

Also check out some of my other SFoodie articles:
Ocean Taqueria: Customizable Goodness as Big as a Human Limb
Big Nate Serves Up So-So ‘Cue, But at Least You Don’t Have to Leave the Couch on Weekends
Axis Café is Just Like Your Living Room. Only a Hell of a Lot Nicer
The Bread Basket, Your DC Hookup for Filipino Pan de Sal and Ensaymada
Sweet Beat: Italian Gelato (in Some Very Un-Italian Flavors) at Marco Polo
Golden Island Cafe: Hong Kong-Style Sago Sweets in the Outer Sunset
John’s Snack and Deli, the FiDi’s Original Mom-Style Taco Fusion